The most messed up and crazy miniature stories you can come up with.

[Coey890]

Yeah, I know I stole this from the RWP, but there were a few funny stories I found there, I also wrote a few over there which I want to share with you.

The last one is my favorite out of them. Otherwise known as "CAN BLIND PEOPLE SEE THE TASTE OF CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH?".

Anyways...

Once upon a time, a man fell asleep in his shoes, and then he had a dream where he was sniffing his donkey's poo, he woke up and said "I LIKE PUDDIN'" and stuff, but he never knew how to fix his broken spoon THE END.

A looooonng time ago, in the vast reaches of my kitchen sink, a small colony of blue whales lived in the pipes. I got them out with a monkey wrench only to find that one was capable of saying "POTATO", I kept him as a pet and called him POTATO, now whenever I go to my friend's house I always end up watching reruns of Star Wars: a New Hope. I screamed "MACARONI IS MADE OF BALONEY" in the loudest way I could.
His pet dog leash found this offensive, and I got sued for insulting a stranger. THE END

Here's a story which the blind will really love! CAN BLIND PEOPLE SEE THE TASTE OF CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH? Yep, that's it! Here we go!

Once upon a time, in a foreign, unknown land called America, there was a blind boy who was 12 years old, he likes to pick on people for having poor eyesight.

His mom went shopping and saw some cereal called Cinnamon Toast Crunch! It said "The taste you can see!", she said "OH BOY THIS IS PERFECT FOR MY SON!".

She ran out of the door and the clerk said "YOU GOTTA PAY FOR THAT YOU CEREAL-NAPPER!", she said "DON'T WORRY MY SON IS BLIND" and the clerk turned into a set of Sesame Street themed weaponry.

She finally got home by riding on the tops of strangers cars and jumping to another when necessary. She ran inside the house shouting "IVAN, IVAN YOU GOTTA SEE THIS AMAZING BOX I FOUND", Ivan appeared at the top of the stairwell, and then his dad appeared behind him and shoved him down the stairs while laughing uncontrollably.

Ivan came across a few spare arrows they keep on the stairs on the way down, and they poked right into him and he said "HEY FRIENDS" he got the bottom and got back up and his dad said "SEE YOU NEXT FALL".

Ivan ran to the kitchen but ended up with a bunch of wall in his face, so his mom dragged him across the floor into the kitchen.

His mom said "IVAN, LOOK AT THIS BOX, IT SAYS THE TASTE YOU CAN SEE!".
Ivan carefully got off the floor and tried to sit down in a chair, but ended up on the floor and with a bruise on his butt. His dad ran in and coated the floor in petroleum jelly. Ivan got back up and slipped, but he got up.... and slipped again. After his parents had enough time laughing, they made him lick it all off the floor.

Then they scurried to get the cereal and the other necessities, they made a bowl of it and placed it on the table and lifted Ivan off the ground and put him in a chair in front of the cereal.

His mom waited around for him to eat it, but he couldn't find the spoon, even though it was right in front of him. His mom said "WHAT ARE YOU, BLIND?! LOOK IN FRONT OF YOU THERE'S A BOWL OF CEREAL THAT HAS A TASTE YOU CAN SEE!", Ivan used his hands to feel around for the bowl, he grabbed it and poured it down his throat.

His parents were so happy that their son made it this far, they remembered when they named him Ivan because of his perfect eyes. They both replied "WELL DID YOU SEE IT?", and Ivan got up and said "YEAH, FINALLY, I CAN SEE!", they said "REALLY?" and he said "NOT ONLY THAT, I CAN FLY, AND CREATE ANYTHING I WANT OUT OF THIN AIR!", his parents knew that he'd like the cereal, he said "HEY, THESE ARROWS DON'T FEEL TOO BAD ANYMORE!" and then everybody laughed and lived happily ever after. THE END

No offense to any blind people reading this anybody who knows a blind person or anything like that. I just kinda wanted to make a laughably pathetic story.

I cracked up so much while writing this. Though I think that might not be a good thing.